A healing letter I miss you so much. Its been a long time and something about me still cant let go. Feels like my cells, my blood, my mind is just so impregnated with you still. The season is here and i feel this ache, this immense fear, this memory that hurts like a knife in my heart. i dont know if ive payed already, if its been enough, if theres still a debt i have to punish myself for, cause its been hard, hearing from you, the old photographs, and i so much still wish that those memories brought me joy and happiness but they are killing me slowly, year after year. Perphaps i wanted to know what death was like, and here it tis, heres the pain everyone fears, this pain that never heals, that never truly goes away. This pain that haunts me and that plays with me in a cruel way, this pain that never fades and that is never forgiven nor forgotten. I dont even have a place to cry for you, i dont have a mausoleum, i dont have a corner to cry all i wanted to, so i hide at nigh...